Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty in Golf, but Aren't ...

 10.  Oh, bite, sweatheart.
  9.  See it suck back to the hole?
  8.  I yanked it in the woods.
  7.  I pushed it in the swamp.
  6.  Never up, never in.
  5.  My head was a little late to impact.
  4.  Hey, I think you're inside me.
  3.  Flip it up and let it land softly.
  2.  Make sure the shaft comes back to vertical.
  1.  Damn, there's hole in the headcover.