If Star Trek Were Country-Western 


Every Friday night, the entire crew would head down to the cargo
bay for the big tractor-beam pull.

Original character Mr. Spock would raise an eyebrow and mutter 
"fascinating."  New character "Yosemite" Spock would pop off a 
few rounds, and holler "Great horny toads!"

The Prime Directive would mostly be concerned with restrictions 
on marriage to other family members.

Space would still be the final frontier, but the first stop would
be Winn Dixie for a case of Busch and some Luckies.

Good aliens = mullets; Bad aliens = mullets and goatees.

Every time a new alien was introduced, Spock would say, "Captain,
if I may...them's good eatin'."

Incoming message chime would be replaced by "Dueling Banjos."

Captain Kirk would still sleep with anything that moves - but only
if he was related to it.

Lieutenant Commander Data would be up on blocks in the front yard,
waiting for parts. 

Bones' tag-line would be:  "Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a 
NASCAR driver!"

Instructions to the Away Team would be "Set banjos on stun."

Picard's favorite replicator order would be "Skins. Pork. Fried."

Before every commercial the Enterprise would freeze in mid-air and
Kirk would let out a rebel yell.  Waylon Jennings would do a 
voice-over where he says, "Looks like them Federation boys just
ordered up a second helping of trouble, and that's jist what the 
Klingons are servin'!"