You Might Be A Trekkie If...


.....your shuttle craft has been on bricks for a week

.....you go hunting with a type 2 phaser rifle

.....your only excuse for cooking is that you don't have a replicator

.....you wish you could have ocular implants so that you don't need glasses

.....you think any sub-light speed is ridiculously slow

.....you think the quickest way to the gas station is via a worm hole

.....your car is really a shuttlecraft cloaked to look like a car

.....you enjoy listening to 5 songs at the same time with the volume as loud as possible

.....you think a computer mouse is a clumsy interface

.....your computer uses voice-recognition as the only form of input

.....all your computer games are stored on one isolinear chip

.....you think Darth Vader is a wuss

.....if you drove at top speed around your house you'd travel back in time

.....your speedometer is gauged in terms of impulse

.....you buy only super-unleaded dilithium

.....your blood really IS green

.....you never needed a formal education because you were genetically programmed

.....everything you know is from a mind-meld with someone else

.....you think the shortest distance between two points is transwarp

.....you never shut your computer off because it wouldn't appreciate that

.....your nanite farm is disguised as an ant farm

.....seeing is NOT believing, scanning is believing

.....you find the current American Ideology of Capitalism is severely overrated

.....you think Bill Gates would make an excellent Ferengi

.....your VCR is modified to record onto isolinear chips

.....you have a globe of the one of the following planets OTHER than Earth: 
                              Vulcan, Romulus, Ferenginar, Cardassia, etc...

.....you know for a fact that your direct descendant will help colonize Mars

.....you think virtual reality today lacks a severe amount of tangebility

.....your neighborhood will become the future site of Starfleet Academy

.....you've discussed the paradoxes of temporal mechanics at least three times

.....you can make the Vulcan hand greeting with both hands without thinking

.....you've seen every movie starring Brent Spiner

.....you recognize Patrick Stewart's voice anywhere

.....you've seen at least one whole Babylon 5 episode and understood it completely

.....you can name all 9 planets of the Sol system

.....you only need bandages when your anabolic protoplaster is out of power

.....your doorbell makes that beeping sound from the original series communicators

.....you have no use for paper whatsoever, all information is accessed with PADDs

.....you can point out all the ways that Voyager could have gotten home already

.....you know why the Borg Collective is worse than Industrial Communism

.....your emergency medical holographic doctor plays golf on the weekends

.....you know why effect can come before the cause

.....your computer is far superior to any computer built even in the next century

.....your genetically engineered son is named Khan Noonian

.....You send weekly love letters to the actress who played the Green Skinned Orion
Slave Girl in episode number 7. 

.....You pull the legs off your hamster so you'll have a tribble. 

.....You tried to join the Navy just so you could serve aboard the Enterprise. 

.....Your wife left you because you wanted her to dress like a Klingon and torture you
for information. 

.....You went to San Francisco to see if you might bump into Kirk and crew while they
were in the 20th century looking for a whale. 

.....Your college thesis was a Comparison of the Illustrious Careers of T.J. Hooker and
Capt. Kirk. 

.....You fly into a homicidal rage anytime people say "Star Trek? Isn't that the one with
Luke Skywalker?" 

.....You have no life. 

.....You recognize more than 4 references on this list. 

.....You join NASA, hijack a shuttle, and head for the coordinates you calculated for the
planet Vulcan. 

.....you're still reading through this list for no aparrent reason

.....you've read through this entire list and all of them apply

.....this list applies to all of your friends

.....this list applies to everyone you know

.....you wrote this list!!!

.....you can write a better list!!!