Sick Bay Work Benefits


You never have to help patients to the bathroom. Heck, you've never
even SEEN a bathroom on the Enterprise!

Making the patients' beds is greatly simplified since Sick Bay is
outfitted with those granite slabs.

You only have to perform 26 procedures a year.

Only two possible diagnoses: "You'll be like new in a jiffy!" or 
"He's dead, Jim."

The drugs are way better, but the food still looks like little 
blocks of Play Dough.

You get first dibs on all those barely worn red shirts to use as
scrubs.

The hypospray doesn't leave any telltale marks -- and you can 
always blame the missing drugs on that guy from Rigel 4.

While off-camera. you get to make the "Phssss" sound whenever an
injection is given.

Need a break? Simply head to the holodeck for a round of "Dammit 
Jim, I'm a porn star, not a Doctor!"

The Chief Engineer always rewards you with a bottle of 
"appreciation" if you'll fudge the official weight on his yearly 
physical.

Giving Viagra to guys in unitards never stops being funny.