CHRISTMAS CAKE RECIPE
You'll need the following:
1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
4 large brown eggs
2 cups of dried fruit
1 teaspoon of salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts
1 bottle of whisky
Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check
the whisky again. To be sure it's the
highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on
the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter
in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whisky is still OK.
Cry another tup. Tune up the mixer. Beat two leggs and add to
the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fired druit gets stuck
in the beaterers, pry it goose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups
of salt. Or something. Who cares?
Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon the sugar or something. Whatever
you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget
to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whisky again and go to bed.
MERRY CHRISTMAS! 
