I currently have thousands of jokes
posted, and I'm adding new ones as often as time, and space, permit
(about
once a month, these days), so check back often. If you have a
joke
you'd like to submit, send it along. If I don't have it already
and
I elect to use it, I will give credit for the submission.
I
do very
little in the way of censorship, so some of the material contained on
these
pages may be deemed offensive by some. There is nothing here I
consider
either extremely risqué, or too "blue". If you're looking
for raunchy, "dirty" jokes, look elswhere, you won't find them
here.
Of course, this is all just in my humble opinion. If you don't
like
any given joke, quit reading it! That's all, I simply warn you of
the risk, small though it is, that you take by visiting any of
these
pages. I am not out to offend anyone, just bring a few smiles to
your day. Enjoy.
Signup
for my Jokelist
Jokes are loosely
categorized
by type, so select your favorite and enjoy!
This page has been archived. Email
me if you would like a zipped version
of the pages. |
 |
 |
| Clinton Bashing |
Star
Trek |
Let's
Get MicroSoft |
| Moved December 16,
2001 |
Updated: December
18, 2004 |
Updated: April 3,
2001 |
You Are Visitor 
...or something like that.
Disclaimer Notice:
This humor does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself,
my company, my friends, or my cat; don't quote me on that; don't quote
me on anything; c Copyright (C) 1999 Joker's Wild; all rights reserved;
this document is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may
distribute
this posting and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a
profit from it or include the article or parts of it in commercial
publications,
or as part of any fee-based services or products; further
redistributions
only allowed unedited and in its entirety by electronic transfer
(anonymous
FTP, Gopher, WWW and mail servers), storage media, and printed copy as
long as this notice is included and no monetary fee is charged; jokes
subject
to change without notice; text is slightly enlarged to show detail;
resemblance
to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and coincidental;
all
models are over 18 years of age; dry clean only; do not bend, fold, or
mutilate; anchovies or jalapenos added to jokes upon request; your
mileage
may vary; no substitutions are allowed; for a limited time only while
supplies
last; offer void where prohibited; humor is provided "as is" without
any
warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not
liable
for damages due to use or misuse; equal opportunity joke employer; no
shoes,
no shirt, no jokes; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; jokes may
contain
material some readers find objectionable; parental advisory: explicit
lyrics;
keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family please; no
money down; no purchase necessary; ask us about our puns-for-jokes
trade-in
plan; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries
not included; action figures sold separately; jokes were packed full,
contents
may have settled during mailing; sanitized and sealed for your
protection;
do not use if safety seal is broken; do not use while operating a motor
vehicle or heavy equipment; safety goggles may be required during use;
call before you dig; use only with proper ventilation; for external use
only; if a swelling, redness, rash, or irritation develops, discontinue
use; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; keep away from
open
flames; avoid inhaling fumes or contact with mucous membranes; joke
contents
under pressure, may explode if incinerated; smoking these jokes may be
hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to
abstinence,
is the use of a good laugh; text is made from 100% recycled electrons
and
magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of these
jokes; no salt, MSG, preservatives, artificial color or flavor added;
if
ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a
comedian;
jokes are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to
enter;
possible penalties for early withdrawal; one size fits all; joke offer
is valid only at participating Internet sites; slightly higher west of
the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; if defects are
found,
do not try to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized joke
service
center; please remain seated until the jokes have come to a complete
stop;
jokes in the mirror may be funnier than they appear; this disclaimer
does
not cover hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and other Acts of God, sonic
boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts,
unauthorized
repair, improper installation, misuse, typos, misspelled words, missing
or altered signatures, and incidents owing to computer or disk failure,
accidental file deletions, or milk coming out of your nose due to
laughing
while drinking; other restrictions may apply. If something offends you,
lighten up, get a life, and move on.
Seriously, everything contained on these pages was either sent to me
via e-mail, snail mail, or found in my various travels through the web,
Usenet, etc. If you have written something contained herein and
wish
either credit or removal, simply provide me with a statement to that
effect.
In all cases, but especially in the case of multiple claims, I reserve
the right to request proof before either crediting anyone or removing
anything.
Click the mailbox below to contact me.
