The Worst Question...

What is the worst question you can ever ask someone in the SCA?

In my opinion, it's the one that everyone is wondering about, but no one has the answer to, least of all the poor target of the question. I don't think it is ever asked in a harmful manner, indeed I think that many times it is an expression of faith in the person, a wish for good things. But still, despite the good intentions, the high hopes and the well wishes it is the very worst thing that you can ever ask someone. So what is this question? This small poisionous barb always delivered with good wishes...

Why aren't you a Laurel/Knight/Pelican/Member of Polled Order, yet?

It may seem harmless, indeed it's only a string of words. And you mean them very sincerely. You think that person is worthy of that accolade, even perhaps over due. You've seen them wash dishes in every event they attend, even if they have driven for hours to get there. You may know that they are struggling with personal issues of health or finance, and still giving their all to make the SCA a better place. You may have seen them teach classes at Pennsic year after year, or at every small event across the Kingdom. You think they are ready, so you wonder why everyone else doesn't see it too.

Please, don't ask the person. Mainly because the person you are asking probably doesn't know why they aren't a Laurel/Knight/Pelican/Order Member. The best they could say is, "I don't know, but thanks for the compliment." At worst you might be hitting a sore spot.

What about asking a someone who already has that award. In short, No. It is true that they are able to attended the meetings and may know how the order feels. But they shouldn't say a word, and it is very likely and right that they won't tell you a thing. Order meetings are closely guarded so that candidates don't get placed on some crazy roller coaster of "Will I, Won't I." or worse... "Why doesn't so and so like me?" Knowledge of being considered for any award can be distracting to the candidate... and sometimes detrimental.

What you can do...
1. The very best place to start is an email or letter to the Order Principal, King, Queen, Prince and Princess. It doesn't have to be flowery. It doesn't have to be long. Get it down in writing and just tell them what you have seen. The person you are recommending is courteous, giving of themselves in good times and adversity, fun, talented, whatever you think is worth mentioning. The person documented and re-created a Mongolian left-handed widget winder. The person helped me salvage my tent from the flood at Pennsic. The person organizes educational field trips for our group. I always see so-and-so washing dishes.

2. Help the person be seen. The kingdom is a big place. Introduce them to people you know. If you know they are having car problems or problems with travel - work out a ride share. Take their items to events (if they are an artisan, or a chronicler) even if they can't attend. Mention them in the Quarterly Report if you are an officer. Or suggest the person to your Kingdom A&S Officer, Knight Marshal, Chronicler, or Senechal and see if they are willing to put that person in their report.

3. Be Patient and Persistent The wheels of the Orders turn, but slowly. And realize that this process is just that, a long process. You might need to write more than one letter. Or remind people of this person.

It may seem long. It may seem crass or campaign-like, but if you truly think a person deserves the recognition, when you finally see them called into court it is a wonderful feeling.